Looking After Yourselves
Feeding Your Baby
Your Baby's Development
This is a general simple guide. Everyone
Most new parents go through a grief
process as they would if their baby had died. In a way your
baby has died; the dream baby you imagined for nine months or
more; the baby without Down syndrome.
But it is different to having a stillbirth because you have
a living baby needing love and care. So in addition to the grief
for the loss of your dream baby, you develop feelings of love
and joy for your actual baby. The baby who was the problem becomes
Grief is a healthy reaction to loss.
The strength of your reaction depends on how big the loss seems
Grief is hard work and it hurts. It
can be delayed (maybe your baby is very sick and Down syndrome
seems unimportant) but cannot be avoided.
Throughout your childs life there
are likely to be occasions when you revisit these feelings of
grief, but most parents say the pain of the early days is the
Many different feelings are part of
Denial is a common first reaction, you hear the news
and think this isnt really happening this
only happens to other people.
It cushions the blow and protects you for
a while until your body is better able to cope with the news.
Anger may be a generalised rage
at the world or a more personal why me? How
dare this happen to me?
You may be able to channel your anger into
doing something to help your child.
Bargaining is that feeling of If
I do this I can make it better, a time where guilt and
responsibility may be strongly felt. It may lead to a change
in priorities in your life.
Depression is an intense and overwhelming
feeling of helplessness and sadness, my world is falling
Acceptance creeps in as you start
to think, so my baby has Down syndrome, I can live with
Most people dont work through these
feelings in order. They experience them all at once and revisit
them again and again.